Oh Hey.

Welcome to my space. I write honestly about motherhood, finding joy, Jesus, not quite fitting in and embracing the mess. Grab a latte & let's skip the small talk. 

-Jen

The Marriage Adventure -- Thoughts on 5 years

It's the greatest and the absolute most challenging and refining relationship EVER. 

Falling in love was the easy part for us. 

He picked me up and whisked me away in his truck with some reggae blastin. We were both wearing dirty white converse. We seriously matched?! We danced and played it cool and when I went to the bathroom, one of Drew's friends, Austin, told Drew that he was going to marry me. 

Drew says he knew Austin was right that night. 

A Kauai trip or two, a ton of adventuring, passion, inspiring talks, figuring out that we couldn't live without each other; a beach wedding with 26 of our family, we were anxious and nervous and complete together. A honeymoon meltdown and a lot of ocean and beach volleyball, we made a baby. 

Life has been brutiful to us, as I am figuring it is to everyone. A muddled lump of beautiful and brutal. Testing if you can survive it and lining the path with incredible blessings the next. 

5 things, as of today, our 5 year anniversary....5 things I have learned and want to pass to you. 

1. It's hard work. Marriage and life in general. Put your big girl panties on and put in the hours, tears, blood sweat, It's WORTH IT. I promise. Don't give up. 

2. Your spouse won't complete you. You're going to have to do a lot of work on yourself, by yourself and for yourself. Marriage has it's way of exposing character flaws and weaknesses. Expose and embrace, we all have things we need to work on. It's not your spouses job to "fix" you. You take your journal and your Jesus and work that shi* out. The reason your spouse (or anyone for that matter) can't complete you is because they are also extremely flawed. We're all a mess, people, and guess what? That's okay. Embrace the journey. 

3. CELEBRATE. Celebrate 1 month, a new job, a new house, babies, birthday's, everything. Celebrate that it's Monday and you are feeling your hair-do. Life is too short to not celebrate... so cheers as often as possible! 

4. COMMUNICATE. This is an overstated marital key for a reason. Better to over communicate than "assume." Tell them how you feel, what you think and why, where you'll be, your dreams, what makes you scared and keep telling. Don't push it down, you will end up with resentment. 

5. Take care of yourself. Make sure you are doing what you can to feel alive. Make time for things that fill you up and make you the best you can be. Meet with mentors, surround yourself with people that love you, listen to music YOU like, go to the gym, whatever makes you feel alive and good, I give you permission to DO IT because it matters. Need a day off? See #4 and Communicate that shit :) 

Marriage is brilliant and I'm a HUGE fan. 

Happy 5 years, Drew babe, I love you more today. 

J

 

How To: Self Care