Oh Hey.

Welcome to my space. I write honestly about motherhood, finding joy, Jesus, not quite fitting in and embracing the mess. Grab a latte & let's skip the small talk. 

-Jen

When Someone Else is Living Your Dream

My little inspiration wall where I tape up things that inspire me each month. 

My little inspiration wall where I tape up things that inspire me each month. 

Good for you!!! 

That's so awesome that you are doing exactly what I want to be doing with my life and you have a money tree in your backyard, apparently and also have long lustrous hair of Medusa. This is often my hard, jealous heart when I hear of a friend or stranger going back to school like I have dreamed of doing. Or they got those brand new boots for the fall that I have been drooling over. 

Stop. Stop that right now. 

She has those killer boots and you paint a smile on your face and get that naughty jealousy bug out of your heart this instant. Also, don't run to the store and get them, just stop. 

I feel like deep in my heart I really, really want everyone to succeed and run after their dreams. Train for that marathon, write that book, have that next kid, ask for that raise. My pom poms are waiving and I'm chanting their name with all I have. 

Until I run into an insecurity trigger. I have a conversation with someone who is doing exactly what I want to do and I have two choices. I can run down the "poor me" path and shut them out of my life because it reminds me of what I'm not accomplishing and I don't even want to see it. (sad!)

Or I can say "good for you" and actually mean it. With a clear heart and stars in my eyes for them, a true, loving "good for you."

You earned this. This is your time. Your story. Good for you. You are working hard and doing what you believe in. How wonderful and inspiring and right. 

From me me me to you you you in 5 seconds flat. 

The scarcity mentality has snuck up on me at times. She's making those cards kind of like the ones I wanted to make...I guess I can do mine anymore and so on. 

No. No no no. There is enough room for all of us to dream BIG.

We don't have to grab ours just in case there is not enough. 

There will be enough. 

You will have your time and in the mean time, cheer. Encourage. Write Congratulations in the sky for all to see. We are all doing this and we NEED one another to love and encourage and listen and be there. 

If we are sitting at home thinking about ourselves, this does not work. 

If the first person I think of is me me me, I will rob joy from others and myself. 

This issue first became obvious to me when I was having an identity crisis a few months ago. These seem to have them about once a month around a certain time..anyway. 

Identity crisis! Husband comes home and hears an earful of nonsense. Babe, I want to start this business and find my calling and who am I and blah blah blah. (my sweet, patient husband) 

He listened well and pulled up a small business online to show me how I am falling short. Just kidding, he was attempting to inspire my whiny, pity party butt into action. 

I immediately turned sour. I saw this certain company and how successful and beautiful and how she had everything my dreams are made of and I turned straight angry and jealous and awful. I think I even cried (blaming "that time" but also...just no. there is no excuse for crying about that unless you are 5 years old).

I didn't want to see it because I was jealous. She made these beautiful crocheted wall hanging pieces of glory and they probably hang in Anthropologie and she probably had someone make her caramel lattes every morning while she did yoga in a dreamy forrest and played the acoustic guitar while everyone loves her and sings songs. 

O my goodness, no. She worked SO very hard to be where she is at and jealousy gets right in there and steals everything.

It's hard. It's hard to look at someone doing something you want to do and clap for them, support them..but I dare you, I dare myself. Stop, look and listen. See them. See the hard work they have done. Encourage them. Celebrate them because guess what, they are doing a good job and so are you! 

 

 

 

 

For My Boy

On Being a Mama of Two (Grace and More Grace)