Oh Hey.

Welcome to my space. I write honestly about motherhood, finding joy, Jesus, not quite fitting in and embracing the mess. Grab a latte & let's skip the small talk. 

-Jen

Just Say No to Egg Dishes

Just Say No to Egg Dishes

I walk in, weary. Two babies at my heels, grabbing and hiding behind. A pack mule of sorts, I barely fit through the narrow door. I'm late and have taken zero deep breaths. "Mama, can I stay with you today?!"

"Mom, I have to potty!!!!"

I pass off my humble egg dish. The old, rusty, scratched pan made me insecure as I passed it off and noticed the table full of Sur La Table dishes overflowing with egg and meat for the Gods. I handed over a plastic knife that was quickly noticed to be covered in dog hair. 

All I felt was this:

THIS IS THEM: 

 

THIS IS YOU: 

I cried alligator tears in the parking lot because it was that time of the month and I felt utterly defeated. My attached my soul to that inferior dish and a part of me was needing to be loved on, my dish and my heart. 

I dug in my purse to "phone a friend" and tell her I was giving up on being a functioning human being. Before I could dial, a soul friend drove up next to me. I walked over to her car door and told her to hug me. 

Now let me stop here. The old version of me would not have come close to this point. The old me would have gotten angry and pushed down my sad feelings to the black hole depths. Reading How We Love helped me uncover anger and reveal hurt and sadness that I once called "weakness" and displayed as anger.

I turned into a big puddle of tears and she held me and nursed me back to health. Just kidding about the milk part. It's funny how someone physically holding you lets you release and give up. She prayed over me and my soul started to belong again. 

Oh, the tenderness of life. She was a soft place to land and she helped put me back together in 5 minutes. 

She reflected our savior in those minutes. This is the body of Christ. Someone falls, you hold them fierce and soft.

Another friend laughed with me later as she confessed she has also cried over bringing an egg dish to an event. I quote her proudly, "Just say no to egg dishes." 

I hope you can hold or be held this weekend. 

J

For the weekend:

Download Audrey Assad's new album, Inheritance. Her voice is angelic and fosters immense peace in my heart. She calls the album "a soundtrack for prayer.." That it is, go check it out! 

Check out this website to rent a dress/jewelry for all sorts of occasions, even wedding dresses! My hairdresser told me about it forever ago and I am going to use it for the first time! Such a brilliant idea! 

Read this book. Our book club finished it this last week and it is a MUST READ! 

 

When things go south

When things go south

The Best Words

The Best Words