Loving Your Bare Face and Soul
I was raised with a mama who boiled beets, homeschooled, and had a legitimate butter churner. The natural, simplistic way was woven into our bed sheets and daily life. My momma had babies in her bathtub, and knew if all else fails, coconut oil , a warm bath and a rocking chair hymn was the saving grace.
In the middle of my life, I settled for cheap, superficial versions of things. The more I could hide my facial flaws, the better. Whatever I needed to do to blend in and hide, I obsessed over. I struggled with acne and extreme insecurity, which made me basically an addict to covering up, faking, hiding.
I remember going on a trip with a friend and I set my alarm to 6am so I could cover my face before anyone else woke up and could catch a glimpse of my naked face. We've been on quite the journey, my outsides and I.
These past few years, I began questioning the "why?" behind the makeup I used each day. I noticed the stress I felt to cover this, blend that and make everything just so before I faced the world.
True life: I LOVE makeup. I could get lost in a Sephora and nap between the lip stains and beauty oils without complaints.
I started to notice, however, I felt naked without my makeup.
My bare face, something I constantly hid, something I wasn't familiar with. Something I didn't admire or embrace fully. I started looking in the mirror less. Spending less time on painting my face and more time on living my life. I once heard that however much time you spend at the mirror, you should double that time spending it on your heart. Now, when the heart is right, makeup can be something that is a celebration, it's fun and creative and heavens knows I live for fun and creative.
Just recently, after a few weeks bare, I saw a picture of myself. I looked at it and blurted out, "Wow, I actually look good." lol. A bit shocked that I was so approving of my actual face. The times without cover connects me back to my skin; it teaches me that I don't need makeup to feel alive and whole. That "just me" is extraordinary on her own.
I noticed I would cover my face for others. I want to look good for them. I don't want them to notice my blemishes, my flaws. I'll hide it and that will make everyone happier.
It's funny, life bare-faced goes much deeper for me. Permission to be bare and authentic with your external seems to seep down to the insides as well. I'm starting to not only appreciate, but genuinely enjoy and prefer my fresh out of the shower self (and bare heart).
Here's to speaking your actual heart, sitting with it and celebrating it. Pretense set aside, feeling the earth under your feet and noticing your place in it. Here's to sneaking a peek at a bare-faced photograph and seeing light and joy. Also, to real butter. I mean, nothing like it folks.
Love to you, friends.