Learning to Surrender
Surrender. The word itself evokes a passionate agony in my bones. A giving up and a giving in, a lack of control.
You see, I like to drive. I prefer to be the one behind the wheel. I get to decide on the speed, the destination, and if we stop, it's because I said so. (I can hear my husband laughing in agreement now).
A life of surrender is more like being a passenger. I can choose to micromanage the driver, inserting my expertise and opinion as needed. I feel like our culture today is telling everyone to drive their own car. I get why, but it's also so frightening.
Surrender takes faith and faith means trusting. It helps me when I remember God sees my entire life. When I see 2 feet in front of my nose and start stressing, He sees it all. Beginning and end, I think He even remembers the day I was born better than anyone else remembers.
I get little glimpses of the bigger picture. My 5 year-old twirling in the sand as the ocean teases her perfect little toes. Coffee and tears with a friend who knows me better than I know myself; a little glimpse of heaven on earth.
How vast is His view? From sky to sea, from beginning to end.
I hope you sleep soundly tonight knowing you are not forgotten. That the God who designed your hands, lips and lungs sees all. That you can sit in that passenger seat, surrendered. Roll that window down and turn on Marvin Gaye because He got you. It won't be easy, He didn't promise that (Oh how sometimes I wish He did). Let that wind blow in your hair and feel the lightness and feel SO loved.
(picture from a project I did for THE GO FUND silent auction)