Feels Like Home To Me
As I drive Eastbound with the Eucalyptus touching the sky over my right shoulder, the familiar streets signify home. I know the stop signs so well, my foot automatically touches the brake. Safety and comfort that I can put up my feet up and let the littles play and make messes; I can be honest about my excitements and disappointments. Home, in it's ideal, signifies safety and being known and loved.
This home base, the home I grew up in, brings me a foundation of peace. I know who I am at home, I am seen by my mom who reminds me of her love momentarily. My dad knows my wins and losses from each Volleyball match he never missed. He also, I'm sure, remembers the exact night I broke up with a boy who was awful for me.
New beginnings and change has been brewing over here, as it does. Three brand new classrooms, a new YMCA, a newer city, new home and brand new schedule and rhythm. You guys, I walked into the men's restroom at the YMCA, thinking it was the women's (obviously!). I walked ALL THE WAY IN and immediately sprinted out at my first indicator that I was definitely not in the right place.
My girl thought she was getting a certain teacher and things got switched around, and she got a brand new teacher. Her face reminded me of my face when I saw that man in the women's restroom. (wink, wink)
Each of these remind me that we are new.
Have you heard of the children's book, The Kissing Hand ? This mama tells her son a secret that will make school as cozy as home.
She takes her son's hand, spreads his tiny fingers into a fan and kisses his palm--smack dab in the middle: "Chester felt his mother's kiss rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart." Whenever he feels lonely at school, all he has to do is press his hand to his cheek to feel the warmth of his mother's kiss."
Isn't it so comforting to be at home? Around people who love us well and we are known completely. I don't know if home is a safe place for you, with all of my heart I hope it is.
I don't know who or what is home for you. I am reminded that we can be that for one another. We can chose to open our hearts and physical home and show love. I often think, man, I wish I was known here. Instead of waiting for someone to get to know us, what if we went out of our way to get to know others?
I wonder if you have made yourself at home in your own skin?
As yourself, have you welcomed yourself? Are you a home for you?
Have you welcomed yourself freely and lovingly and kindly, just like my momma does to me. I think this is where it all begins. I think the welcoming of who we are begins deep inside and after this, we have the ability to love others and make a home for them.
Are you at home with yourself? Are you speaking positive and welcoming words to you?
You know all of those measures we go to when someone is coming over? Sweep for the first time in a week (or year), light our favorite candle, create a delicious meal? There is so much care and intention for guests, right? What about for the person you are with all day and night and forever?
Nurture that soul. Spend time with your creator. Light your favorite candle and listen to your own heart. Where is your body feeling soreness? What are you scared of? What is delighting you? Fill up, sweet friend. You are loved beyond, soak it up.
I think we all still need our mama. I have said this and will say it again, sometimes grown adults just need their mama to swaddle them up and put them to bed, rocking and shushing and rubbing our back. I wonder if we can somehow treat ourselves with this care (others too, but it starts with you).
Maybe, just maybe, wherever we go..even if it's, ahem, the wrong place..that we can feel at home because home is inside of us. That we can speak love and remain connected to the love God has for us, even at our darkest (this is SO crazy to me..still). That we can be delicate and kind and a friend to ourselves.